Funny Text Messages

• Mr. Bean felt so ill so the doctor gave him a tablet. He started cutting the sides of the tablet. Doc: Why are you cutting the sides? Mr. Bean: To avoid the side effects.

• As I stare outside my window looking at the pouring rain, I can’t stop thinking about, and wondering. Have you been singing again?

• Just a thought, money can’t buy happiness. But somehow, its more comfortable to cry inside a Mercedes than inside a tricycle.

• WIFE: Why are you so early today?
  HUSBAND: Well my boss lost his temper and shouted at me. He said, “Go to hell,” so I went home immediately.

• A traffic police pulled over a car for going through a traffic stop sign. The police recognized the driver as his former English teacher, “Mrs. Gonzales,” he said “those stop signs are periods, not commas.”