Funny SMS Jokes

• NEWTON's 4th LAW: The last drop of male urine does not obey the law of gravity unless... SHAKEN.

• Why dont cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny!

• why do women wear tampons when they skydive? So they dont whistle on the way down.

• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

• How can a woman tell is shes flat chested? She looks down her dress and the two bumps she sees are her knees.

Read More...

Love SMS Quotes

• Destiny decides who you meet in life, but its only your heart that can decide who gets to stay in our life.

• I never considered you a friend. Even when we first met, i didnt want to be your friend! thats because i wanted you to be more than a friend.

• I may not be to expressive to tel how much i care, how much i value the real you, but one thing for sure is that i will always love you.

• The best happiness in life is the happiness you get in loving someone..coz you never lose in loving, you only lose in holding back.

• Finding the right person is like digging a well. right when you think you've reach nothing, you suddenly get flodded by love.

Read More...

Funny SMS Quotes

• On the first anniversary of marriage: Husband speaks and the Wife hears. On the second anniversary of marriage: wife speaks and husband hears. On the third anniversary of marriage: Both husband and wife speak, and the neighbors hear!

• Newly-married guy: Sweetheart, would you still marry me even if my father hadnt left me a fortune?
  Newly-married girl: Honey i would still marry you no matter wh left you a fortune.

• What is the difference between single menn and married men? Well, married men live longer than single men do, but married men are also a lot more willing to die.

• Jimbo is walking down Baywalk one early morning when a holdupper suddenly emerges from the coconut palms, pulls out a gun and says "Your money or your life!?". Jimbo Looks at him puzzled and a long silence follows. "Your money or your life?!" the holdupper repeats. The holdupper is impatient and complains, "What taking you so long?" Finally Jimbo says "Im thinking, Im thinking!"
  

• Smart boss + smart employee = profit
  Smart boss + dumb employee = production
  dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
  dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Read More...

Missing You Text Messages

• A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z "oopz imiss u'

• Dont hold back affection say what's in your heart that you're happy when you're together and sad when your apart. I miss you so much.

• I miss you so much that i long for your touch, I miss your smile that i miss you're here for a while, and what i miss most is the way you laugh..that spending a minute with you is good enough.

• Why say hi if you mean i miss you. Why say lets go out! if you mean i want to be with you. Why say STAY! if you can say be with me. Then why say I care when your heart says I LOVE YOU!

• You have a heart, I have mine too.. If theyre apart, mine feels really blue..If they're really blue, I dont know what to do. Its just beats faster and faster and shouts I LOVE YOU!

See also other Missing You Text Messages

Read More...

Ilonggo Text Jokes

• Wife: Dok musta na bana ko?
  Dok: Sorry, ikaw na mapaligo kag mapakaon sa iya kay utod na kamot kag tiil nya.
  Wife: Ha? ANO?!
  Dok: Nerbyos ka no? Pati ka na ah, Joke lang. PATAY na SYA.

• La lang, napinsar ta lang ka, sorry ha? kay basi nastorbo ta ka..Basi may nahulat ka nga message sang iban, pero gusto ko lang mabalan mo, nag bunga na amon nga santol. ngayo ka?

• basi may mag txt da sa imo na di mo kilala, friend ko na. gapangayo # mo sakon. Senxa gn hatag ko. same age mo man xa. gapangita abi sang mayo gd nga MANUGLUY-A. Pwede ka?
  

• In a restaurant: Man: Waiter? bakit ng inorder ko?ilan ba ang cook ninyo rito? Waiter: Ay suri sir, la man kami cuk, pipsi lang.

• teacher: Class, Draw a fish.
  Class: Yeeesss maam!
  Teacher: Ruby! Kahigko higko kag ka itom gid na ya sang drawing mo haw?
  Ruby: kalma bala maam! Daw manul ka! Kita mo sinugba ni! Hehehe...

Read More...

Birthday Text Messages

• Its a nice feeling when you know that someone likes you, someone thinks about you, someone needs you;but it feels much better when you know that someone never ever forgets your birthday."HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

• You weren't put on Earth to be remembered, You were put here to preapre for eternity. Happy Birthday!

• Ths msg has No Fat,No cholesterol and No Addictive. This is all natural except, with a lot of sugar. But it can never be as sweet as the one reading it.Smile N Happy Birthday

• Its just another day, but this one is the best of the year! Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

• wishing u a day soft as silk.....
  white as milk.....
  sweet as honey&full of money.
  may all ur dreams come true....
  HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Read More...

Love Text Messages 10

• Don't worry if you lose love. Thats just God's way of preparing you for someone better.

• People came, people go but I'm glad i know that whenever i say HELLO, your feeling always shows.

• Your feelings mean a lot to me, your heart sets me free but when you dont text me i start crying, cant you see?

• When i see the stars at night, i think of a shining star that turns darkness to light. Thats you, even if your far You make me feel alright.

• some Events always seem special n matter how many times we forget them. Its such a perfect day for letting you know how warmly you're thought about TODAY.

Read More...

Pinoy Text Jokes 2

• Jon: Pare, ang ganda ng ngipin mo a! parang exam.
  Dong: bakit naman?
  Jon: One seat apart, hahaha...
  Dong: Ikaw din naman ah!
  Jon: Baket?
  Dong: Fill in the blanks! HAHAHAHA....

• TATAY: bagsak ka naman?bat d mo gayahin c Pedro? Palaging Honor!
  SON: Unfair namang ikumpara nyo ako kay pedro..
  TATAY: Bakit naman?
  SON: matalino kaya Tatay nun.

• Matamis man ang pakwan, mas matamis pa rin di hamak ang nakilala, minahal, niligawan, hinalikan, at nyakap bago nag pa KWAN.

• Pedro bumps a Foreigner:
  Pedro: ay sorry
  Foreigner: sorry 2
  P:sorry 3
  F: wat are you sorry 4?
  P:(kala mo bobo ako ha) sorry 5
  F: I think your SICK
  P: haha..SICK daw, SIX tange!

• Sa mental may isang baliw na kumakanta habang nakahiga sa kama. Tumigil ito at dumapa, kumanta ulet. nagtaka ang nurse at tinanong,
  Nurse: bat ka bumaliktad?
  baliw: Tanga, side B na! baliw ka ba?

Read More...